ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
