we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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