i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
