you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
