I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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