I have demons in me.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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