3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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