ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She announced her abortion via fbk
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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