So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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