Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
