Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
