And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
