If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
