I am in a vortex of obligation.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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