Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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