Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
