i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The struggles of a small town man whore
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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