your thong is hanging out like whoa
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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