your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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