Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
