fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
