Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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