Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You pole danced in your parka.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
