if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
