Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
