The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
