Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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