Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize