I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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