Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.