Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that