The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.