I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
