So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
