i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
