We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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