So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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