I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
