It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
