i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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