so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
