oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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