I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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