My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize