You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
