There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
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