I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
