dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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