remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
