So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
