Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
