I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
