Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
