i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize