I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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