We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
