Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The adults are the big ones right?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
