making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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