Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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