we're chasing vodka with high fives
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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