remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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