a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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