We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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