The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
