I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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