Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
