WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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